Monday, February 21, 2011


When I was a kid, I thought graph paper was pretty cool. I was like, whoa, dad, what are you going to do with that graph paper? And that calculator? I was like, it’s about to get heavy in here, you guys, because dad’s got some graph paper! Then sometimes I would just look at the graph paper, it was usually yellow or off white. It was clean and pristine, filled with little squares, like the very beginning of something. Sometimes I would create graphs of my own, like a real professional lady. Like a brassy Gina Davis looking female scientist who was undervalued by all her colleagues but who was the chosen one to lead the alien resistance and at some point wrestle with blue lightening. I would make little graphs like mountain peaks, or little bars, or just a straight line. Sometimes, there isn’t much of a change in anything, and that would be illustrated by a horizontal line across a piece of graph paper. Sometimes I would draw a little fish on the graph paper and it was like that fish was straight up swimming through math. Once I drew a court jester on a piece of graph paper and then felt strangely embarrassed. I still like graph paper, but as an adult, I don’t have a lot of time to sit there and get psyched about it. Because I’ve got all kinds of adult stuff to do. Like figure out if I’ve got to pay this out of state parking ticket or not. And that kind of thing can’t be graphed.