Thursday, March 16, 2006

Easter Candy

This is my favorite time of year because it’s Easter candy time! And you know what they say about Easter candy! That it’s off the fucking chain. There are so many variations on the typical egg and bunny, all rendered in chocolate form, and wrapped up in an eye massaging pastel colors. Cadbury Cream Eggs, Russel Stover Marshmallow Eggs, Dove solid chocolate bunnies, Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate eggs in a hard candy shell, Peeps. They are all the best, and they all require me too say, like Noah’s Ark, “Two of everything, please!” But be forewarned: There is nothing worse than overdosing on Easter Candy, and it’s a fine line. It’s worse than following a trail of your own blood home after a PCP binge. Here’s an old recipe I’m “resurrecting” in honor of Easter. All it takes is three Cadbury’s Cream Eggs, a microwave, a bowl, and a dash of childhood whimsy. First! You unwrap all the creameggs and put them in a bowl. Then you nuke it for long enough so they are all melted enough to form a kind of chocolate-glucose soup. Then you stir it up and it eat it. If that doesn’t take you to the fourth dimension then you are obviously jaded.