Last of the Mohicans

(galloping, galloping, galloping) ahhhhhhh! Native Americans! “I will not let these people lie as they lay. We will give them a Christian burial.” “They are not strangers, m’lady.” (galloping, galloping, galloping). “Prithee tell me, mogwai, why it is that you hate sir grey hair with such passion?” “I cannot explain it, it is a hatred that is hibernating in my heart like the brown bear will do, in the winter.” (sweeping classical score) ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Form a column! Don’t die! Stay alive just STAY ALIVE! “What are you looking at sir?” “I’m looking at you ma’am.” “I will continue to wear this fetching, billowing dress.” We are surrounded by hay!! “What about the ramparts!?!” (What ramparts?) “Duncan, you are an old sow.” “Tell him Duncan! TELL HIM!” “M’lady! Do not trip on that bramble.” (galloping galloping galloping) Why does everything have to be such a HASSLE? “Please accept this treaty, Frenchman, so that peace may duly mount this country.” “No? You will not accept the treaty? What if I give you this trail mix? Still no?” “Tell me, Kicking Bird, why is it that your skin is white, but your heart runs with the Mohicans?” “If you look up at the sky, brother, in the constellations you will see my people doing many peaceful things, including carrying water back to the village in a simple leather bladder.” “Ah, yes, it is very rugged.” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The end.