A Pilot's Life

Life looks pretty small from up here. As another country falls away beneath the clouds, I make a few adjustments on the dashboard and whoopee! Off we go again. Flying. Like a goddam Canada goose. But huge. Up here, who's your daddy? Me. That's who. Anyone want some peanuts? We got a shitload. But don't ask me. Ask one of the flight attendants. That's what they're there for. That and a blow-job once in a while at 38,000 feet. No one says no to a pilot. It's too scary. Think about what I might do if I got a bee in my bonnet. Brenda! Put a couple a those peanuts in your bra so they look like nipples. That's hilarious. Pilot. That's me. I'm a pilot. Don't tell me to keep my eyes on the sky. It's the sky, for god sake. It's huge. We're not gonna crash into anything. What are we gonna crash into, a cloud? Oh big deal. Just relax, Brenda. Get me one of those vegetarian meals. No, I don't want to eat it--I want to rub my dick in it. Sanitary?? Of course it's not sanitary--I'm trying to teach those vegetarian jerk-offs a little lesson. It's called eat meat. Don't be a homo. I love it. I love my life! Because my life ... is A PILOT'S LIFE.