A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Always Do Again

What’s it like going to a water park? It rocks. Why? Because it’s fucking awesome. You never even KNOW what’s going to happen. You could find yourself sliding down a triple whirl zinger and slamming your face into someone else’s inner-tube at the bottom, or standing in line at the Splash Station waiting to get a soft drink while the sun is in your eyes. Sometimes it kind of sucks, though, how you have to keep checking in with mom who looks all young while reclining with the other adults next to the wave pool. The worst/best thing about it is when you’re at the top of a slide and you feel kind of nervous and there are all these people in line behind you that are like, “just go.” And you’re not sure if you should go feet first or head first. And even though you know head first is kind of dangerous you just saw your brother do it…it also doesn’t help that you feel uncomfortable in your dang bathing suit because you’re just starting to get breasts. Then you’re sliding down super fast and it’s the best thing ever. And then when it’s done, and you come of the dark slide and slam into the bright pool at the bottom, it’s pretty much the closest you’ll ever get to getting a high-five from the sun.