Thursday, April 28, 2005

How to Be a Woman

Wear shoulder pads and negligees. Use perfume. Have special moments where you eat chocolate. Sometimes show up at the restaurant wearing nothing under your trench coat. Have a big, bulky answering machine. Put your hair up in a messy bun and take a bath. Be a gritty, yet adorably hapless single mom with a beautiful genius child. Ride naked on a horse. Lip-sync in front of a mirror with a wooden spoon while wearing your husband’s floppy flannel shirt and then get all embarrassed when he sees you. Realize that maybe he’s just not that into you. Cut yourself, then get your groove back.


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