Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Hey you, yeah, you with the "Rachel" haircut- I stole your tiny glass bear. And here's why:

Because, on a regular basis, you undermine me.
Because you ate the remaining half of my peach yogurt, even though you know my digestive system pretty much self-destructs if I don't get my daily dose of probiotics.
Because we all know you only got this job because the CEO went to Hotchkiss with your uncle. Know what I call Hotchkiss? Hotch-KISS MY PUBLIC SCHOOLED ASS.
Because you're a showoff during office yoga hour. Like shoulderstand is even that much of an advanced pose!
Because, why is it that every time there's a green binder clip or a purple felt-tip pen, they end up on your desk? WE ALL LIKE THE COLORED STUFF. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL.
Because you mocked my personal wall collection of inspirational Maya Angelou quotes and old pages from dog calendars. Sorry if I need a little magic to get me through MY day!


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