Wednesday, July 21, 2010


What can you do to make a man notice you?

Mmmmm….very good question. You have to have a smile like light hitting a glass bowl. All of your curves have to be rounded and your body has to be plush and easy. Think of easy living and wicker chairs. Think of yourself as a hotel suite in key west, with plush places to sit and modern hallways. And you want to be sure that your modern hallways always smell good. I mean really good. They should smell like a peach sun burst. Or a fresh sheets flapping over a field of lavender. This is where you’ll want to pick up some Gazebo Feminine spray.

How should I act?

Ah yes…the question of the ages. You’ll want a voice like streams of golden lace falling and crumpling to the ground. You’ll want to appear sassy, yet vulnerable. (A good way to do this is to attempt to open a jar, and then when you can’t, stamp your foot and have an adorable tantrum before passing it to your man). It helps if you have a perfectly upturned nose, like that of a Disney character. And by all means trace your hands alluringly along some bulging kitchen appliances.

What about the morning after?

Wonderful, yes. There are many ways. Arrange your hair in a jubilee of golden curls on the pillow. Try to position your body so that you are being cupped by the sun. Rest one perfect rose petal on each of your mounds. Transfix your man with your loamy female aura. This may be enhanced by some Gazebo Feminine Spray. There are many scents to choose from, including Sun Nut, Tit of the Ivy, and Violet Flap.


Post a Comment

<< Home