WHO STOLE MY TINY GLASS BEAR?

I saw Hillary from accounts payable eyeing it the other day. And Jenny from Human Resources walked by and asked me where I got it. When I said, “The airport in San Antonio,” I could tell she was jealous. Who wouldn’t be? It was wearing a turquoise handkerchief to signify its southwestern flair. I had considered putting it on a bean bag on the top of my computer, but I thought that might come off as a little too flashy. Instead, I gently placed it on the partition between me and Bryan’s desk. He could have knocked the partition and caused the bear to fall into this front pocket, and no one would have been the wiser. The fact remains, the bear is gone.

It could have been Faith, my boss. The other day she asked me to do something for her, and instead, I put the bear in her inbox. Apparently, not everyone thinks an adorable glass bear with some Texan ‘tude will pass for a CDC report. Anyway, it was a joke. Not something to flip out about. Not something to cause you to click your pen with concentrated violence.

I bet it was Jenny. She looks like the cat the ate the canary. She thinks she’s so special because she’s got one of those cactuses on her desk? The ones that have white hair coming out of them so that they look like total idiots? I bet she’s jealous because my little bear stole her fire. I might go and ask her about it. One of these days I’m going to find out who stole my tiny glass bear.