Monday, July 05, 2010

Top Ten Reasons I'm Not Upset About the BP Oil Spill

10. Everyone makes mistakes and it's really unfair to get angry about every little thing.
9. I live in New York so this doesn't really affect me.
8. It will definitely be okay by August, September at the latest.
7. Wait - what happened again? I'm sorry, my brain just exploded from sadness and now I can't remember anything about this event.
6. There are other planets.
5. Same thing I always say when stuff goes wrong: Murphy's Law!
4. Okay, so an oil well broke in mid-April and it's still leaking tens of thousands of barrels a day, well, you know what, I ALSO HAVE REALLY TERRIBLE BODY-IMAGE PROBLEMS. So I kind of have some other things on my plate!
3. Compared to the global nuclear war of 2013, this is gonna seem like pretty small potatoes.
2. I have faith that a great American leader is soon to emerge from a sweet little political movement known as the TEA PARTY.
1. Let's all just admit it. The ocean was never THAT awesome.


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