Ahh 2010!!!!!
The year I lose both my feet, and have them replaced by a smaller pair!
The year I start dating Rick Moranis!
The year I live among the antelopes!
The year my dream interpretation skillz get kicked up a notch!
The year I get my period every day!
The year my new blog, Koontz In Boots, explodes onto the "World Wide Net"!
The year NPR will make a donation to me!
The year of boob science!
The year I get caught doing coke in a bathroom with Toni Morrison!
The year where it all goes down in flames!
The year I renew my vows with Chris Kattan!
The year I go viral!
The year I perfect the Japanese art of folding paper, origami!
The year I discover that my perceptions are illusions, cuz I've been living in "The Matrix"!
The year I come out!
The year we all just get along!
The year I alienate everybody thanks to my offensive new personal style, "Always In Snowpants"!
The year I join A Tribe Called Quest!
The year I am honored by an enormous statue of myself at Ground Zero!
The year I secede!
The year I finally, at age thirty, GET MY FUCKING GROOVE BACK.
The year I start dating Rick Moranis!
The year I live among the antelopes!
The year my dream interpretation skillz get kicked up a notch!
The year I get my period every day!
The year my new blog, Koontz In Boots, explodes onto the "World Wide Net"!
The year NPR will make a donation to me!
The year of boob science!
The year I get caught doing coke in a bathroom with Toni Morrison!
The year where it all goes down in flames!
The year I renew my vows with Chris Kattan!
The year I go viral!
The year I perfect the Japanese art of folding paper, origami!
The year I discover that my perceptions are illusions, cuz I've been living in "The Matrix"!
The year I come out!
The year we all just get along!
The year I alienate everybody thanks to my offensive new personal style, "Always In Snowpants"!
The year I join A Tribe Called Quest!
The year I am honored by an enormous statue of myself at Ground Zero!
The year I secede!
The year I finally, at age thirty, GET MY FUCKING GROOVE BACK.
posted by Smith at 9:36 AM
1 Comments:
Lately (A New Year's Poem):
Every time I go to a job interview
I think
I could be crab fishing right now
Once in a while
when my friends mix up my name
with some one else's name-
jeeeze,
I could be sailing the Bering Sea
right now
when I sense a certain
co-dependence
or my family business gets
slow
I'm all like
fuck
I should have been born in Alaska
We should all be fishing for Opelio
There should be a crab boat named after my mother
There should be a tattoo me and my brothers all share-
something to do with crab
or the boat.
Or the sea...
Vast,
and unforgiving.
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