Friday, January 01, 2010

Ahh 2010!!!!!

The year I lose both my feet, and have them replaced by a smaller pair!

The year I start dating Rick Moranis!

The year I live among the antelopes!

The year my dream interpretation skillz get kicked up a notch!

The year I get my period every day!

The year my new blog, Koontz In Boots, explodes onto the "World Wide Net"!

The year NPR will make a donation to me!

The year of boob science!

The year I get caught doing coke in a bathroom with Toni Morrison!

The year where it all goes down in flames!

The year I renew my vows with Chris Kattan!

The year I go viral!

The year I perfect the Japanese art of folding paper, origami!

The year I discover that my perceptions are illusions, cuz I've been living in "The Matrix"!

The year I come out!

The year we all just get along!

The year I alienate everybody thanks to my offensive new personal style, "Always In Snowpants"!

The year I join A Tribe Called Quest!

The year I am honored by an enormous statue of myself at Ground Zero!

The year I secede!

The year I finally, at age thirty, GET MY FUCKING GROOVE BACK.

1 Comments:

Blogger Kh.D Gilvey said...

Lately (A New Year's Poem):


Every time I go to a job interview
I think
I could be crab fishing right now

Once in a while
when my friends mix up my name
with some one else's name-
jeeeze,
I could be sailing the Bering Sea
right now

when I sense a certain
co-dependence
or my family business gets
slow
I'm all like
fuck
I should have been born in Alaska
We should all be fishing for Opelio
There should be a crab boat named after my mother
There should be a tattoo me and my brothers all share-
something to do with crab
or the boat.
Or the sea...

Vast,
and unforgiving.

January 20, 2010 at 4:06 PM  

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