Ahh 2009:

The year I finally popped my world music cherry.
The year I got a washer and dryer in my apartment.
The year I got to tenth base with myself.
The year I dabbled in racism.
The year I threw caution to the wind and wore five pairs of underwear at once.
The year I made cinnamon rolls from scratch.
The year I simplified, detoxed, exfoliated and chanted my way to a new me.
The year I settled on a brand of tampon that conveys my spontaneous style.
The year I accidentally swallowed a tiny figurine.
The year I got caught in a phone booth swirling with money at half time during a Knicks game and had a nervous breakdown.
That didn’t really happen, I just saw it happen to someone when I was a kid, and it wasn’t the Knicks, it was the Washington Wizards.