Monday, December 13, 2010

Legitimate Excuses for Having a Dreamcatcher

Your dead best friend from summer camp made it for you.

You thought it was a huge earring.

Someone gave it to you when they thought you were homeless.

David Lynch slipped it to you through the third doorway of a velvet room.

It was part of a limited series of dreamcatchers commissioned by actress Heather Graham.

It was a present; and let's just say your Native American name is "Always Regifts".

For the past couple years, your dreams have only been set in either Payless Shoe Stores or DSW (Discount Shoe Warehouse).

You are someone's weird aunt.

It's actually a passive-aggressive gambit designed to make your boyfriend break up with you.

It was purchased during a five minute period where you envisioned yourself as an unlicensed therapist practicing out of your home.

It was purchased during a five minute period where you were trying to be super casual about the fact that Sheryl Crow was actually coming to your house.

Someone told you it could lessen the symptoms of PTSD.

Two words: street cred.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, possibly:

The rainstick in your knowledge corner looked kind of lonely.

You're frequently tormented by harrowing nightmares.

December 24, 2010 at 8:52 AM  

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