How To Be Late For Work

Sleep late. Hit the snooze button like it's your job (except you actually show up for this job). Luxuriate in your bed (don't you have the most amaaazing bed in the world?!?! Yes, your bed is so awesome. Your bed is the best). Have like twenty more dreams. Plan your outfit while falling back asleep again. Look at your cat - he's sleeping, and he seems really well-adjusted. Shouldn't you follow his lead? Plus it would be so mean to move and possibly wake him up. Finally, wake up due to evil construction noises outside that should honestly be illegal because noise pollution is really bad for you, like toxic, seriously, the way it affects your reptilian brain is basically like inhaling cancerous fumes, but through sound. Get out of bed and then immediately fall back into bed again. Then get up again. Go to the bathroom. Make coffee. Sit down at your desk and realize you have about twenty minutes to get ready for work. Read old journal entries for twenty-five minutes. Acknowledge, again, that you don't have it all figured out, but you're definitely noticing some subtle shifts, if not all positive, then at least positive in the sense of being shifts, which implies that nothing is static and that things do change. Turn on your Sean Paul Pandora station and close your eyes and try to remember your dreams.