Subject: "Hey"

Word to the wise: if you happen to get an email with the subject "Hey", it probably isn't as innocuous as it looks. In all likelihood, that limp little heading is the tip of a mountain of bile. The email you are about to receive probably goes a little something like this:

Subject: "Hey"

Hey Emma,

Happy new year. I just need to get something off my chest. I'm really angry at you for the way you behaved at my new year's party. I'm sorry I didn't confront the situation head-on at the time, but I was just so hurt and victimized by what you did that I could barely catch my breath. I am just such a sensitive person, and you can be such an aggressive, thoughtless monster. I really saw your ugly side that night. But I still really want to work this out and let it go. I really admire you and treasure your friendship. Hope we can get together for a coffee sometime and talk about stuff. Meanwhile, happy new year.

Love (?),

Alena