Friday, June 30, 2006

There are Many Photo-Ops for a Bald Eagle

There are many photo-ops for a bald eagle. People like it when you encircle the world with your wing in honor of earth day or some shit. People like it when you are clutching golden arrows with your talons. Oh yes. There are many photo ops for a bald eagle. People like it when you are flying along and just “happen” to land next to a tattered version of the constitution and decide to shed just one bulging, pearly tear. My favorite pose is when I’m perched stoically on the edge of a cliff overlooking the great American wilderness. I like that one because I don’t really have to do anything. I’m just bein’ me. People like it when you fly over the ocean and make eye contact with the dolphins beneath in a moment of pure majestic synchronicity. And maybe there is shooting star in the background. That one is harder to pull off because dolphins are too busy healing the world with their friendliness to pose for photo-ops. (Trade secret: do not be mean to a dolphin because when you are they will envelope you with wet, fibrousy friendliness that will make the back of your throat tickle and then you feel sooooo bad. I don’t know how I would know that except for that a friend told me). People do not like it when you are pealing a hardboiled egg by yourself in a corner because it makes them feel weird. But people do like it when your chest is bulging and you are wearing a ragged jean jacket with the Texas flag on it. Why? Because there are many photo-ops for a bald eagle.


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