Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Using Radiocarbon Dating Techniques, Can We Pinpoint Exactly When Justin Timberlake Got So Awesome?

Do you remember when Justin Timberlake was kind of lame? No, you probably don't. The memory of this time has been erased from your historic worldview by the sheer magnitude of his current awesomeness. I mean it basically doesn't get any cooler than Justin Timberlake at this point, and yet, not too long ago, he was a member of N Sync, and dating Britney Spears, and singing in a falsetto, and having a stupid name! Nobody even thinks his name is stupid anymore! The name Timberlake now signifies hilarious antics on Saturday Night Live, the bringing back of sexy, and the boning of Jessica Biel! I am DYING to have sex with Justin Timberlake. I LOOK UP to Justin Timberlake. I would carry Justin Timberlake on my back across a desert of hot coals IF HE NEEDED ME TO. I would do it for THE GOOD OF HUMANITY. I regard him as THE FINEST OF HUMAN SPECIMENS. He is BEYOND A-LIST. And the only question my mind is left with, reeling, shaking with admiration for him, is, when exactly did this happen?


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